Hi,
ok, maybe you need to apply some kind of "MVC" goodness in there. MVC is not easy to apply within playmaker, but the concept of having a controller that knows everything, and a view that doesn't know anything about the rest is a good thing and it works for me very well.
so, have a weapon controller, that don't even need to sit in your hierarchy, it can simply leave anywhere ( within reason...). Your weapon gameObject is your "view", in your fsm controller, you will do the dance between all the various elements and dispatch calls from the animation back to the weapon, etc etc.
At some point, linking stuff together is unavoidable especially in Unity, where it's been designed this way, you drag and rop references everywhere, so you shoudl embrace this actually. and maybe write a controller for your animation, and the weapon controller talk to the animation controller... it may sound too much, but that's actually how flexibilty is achieved, the animation controller creates a gap between the implementation and other element that needs to interact with it.
typical example, instead of your weapon having to "knowi" the wielding animation lengths, your animation controller should fire and event "WIELDED" or something, that any fsm can respond to, and your weapon would actually, then it doesn't matter for the weapon how the wielding animation was performed, it just waits for the event to fire...
does that make sense?
bye,
Jean