Hi,
I think you are mis using the focus paradigm here. focus is given to what ever ui element you are interacting with so I doubt you will be able to achieve what you want here trying to control or alter the focus behavior.
instead. prefer an approach with you hilight manually the button or its surounding that is related to what it's showing on the panel. Typically, I would simply swith the background graphics for the item in the list, or swith the button graphics all together.
Bye,
Jean